First, a video we created in the summer of 2012.

Welcome to the club that none of us signed up for, to the club that often comes with heartbreak and tears. Our goal is to find a positive journey through the mud and storms of life, trying not to fill the role of “victim” — at least not every day. :)

For some that means finding a group of people that understand when no one else does, people like yourself, in different phases of their journey. For many of us, it means learning all we can so that we can help ourselves first and foremost, and also our children, and for some of us, even our gay spouse/ex spouse.

And then there are a few of us who want to advocate for everything we can. Advocate for the straight spouses–those in and out of the closet and those that have yet to know, advocate for the LGBTQ community, and advocate for our children that are caught in the middle.

Each of our journeys are different. And yet there is much that is the same. Come, let us learn together and laugh together and cry together.

Our logo and motto come from two ideas that really struck a chord with some of us:

“The lotus is a flower that blooms in the mud. The thicker and deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus blooms.” (From the movie “What’s Love Got to Do with It?“)

“Now that it’s raining more than ever
Know that we’ll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella”
(From Rihanna)

Stand under my umbrella, or sometimes let me stand under yours. Let it cover your children and maybe even your spouse. But let it shelter you from the storm while you blossom into the person you didn’t ever realize you could be.



8 thoughts on “Welcome

  1. Hi Sarah, I saw your link over at fMh. I think this first post is beautiful. The imagery and the message is so appropriate. What an amazing, amazing project.

  2. Sarah, I would love our blog to be included on this website. Love what you are doing.

  3. Thanks you so much for the video!

    I am still not super sure if my husband is gay or not, or maybe is that I still don’t want to accept it to myself. I asked him before and he denied it.
    I have been married for 5 years and I feel really identify with all of the stories from the video, specially to the comment “the roomate situation”

    Is there any group meet ups in Los Angeles?


  4. I’ve been married for 23 years and I found out today that my husband is gay (in the closet). He didn’t tell me… I found out from doing some investigating because I thought he was being unfaithful and found out the shocking truth. What do I do now??

    • Hi there!

      I was in a situation similar to you, since I know my husband is gay but he will never come out and still denies it. Anyways… I was really sad and depress all the time, I would cry very often and had suicidal thoughts I was just not myself anymore, something that really helped me was going to therapy, I have been going to therapy for almost a year, once a week and that has really changed my life. I am finally more less back to being myself.

      It’s not easy at all but once I made the decision and changed things around I became stronger and a very happy person!

      Good luck and think positive!


      • Thank you for your advice… I have talked to a therapist and yes it did help to understand everything that I’m going through… did you stay with your husband? When I first found out and came to some support websites and began reading other stories I was shocked to hear all the women who stayed with their man… I thought… I could NEVER stay with him but here I am still with him but feeling like this relationship really doesn’t matter much to me… he denies being gay because he still has old fashioned thinking that friends and family will abandon him. I haven’t left him only because I’m not sure what my life will be like if I do. I don’t feel suicidal or anything… I just feel like nothing much matters in our relationship… there is no trust and I don’t care.. does that make sense?

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