Here are some comments from people in our Facebook group about the group and how diversity is a strength to all of us.
“This group has allowed me to grow stronger and know that whatever the future holds for us I can remain a strong independent woman who loves herself. I have never felt in this group that I was wrong or crazy to stay in my MOM. I have only felt support and love. My hope that this group is a harbor in a storm whether you choose to stay in the choppy waters of a MOM or are forced to take shelter and protect yourself with divorce. I admire the women/men here who have made the choice for themselves or their children that divorce is the best avenue. My heart also breaks for the ones who had no choice and who would have continued treading in the water. We all bring something to the table…”
“I found this group after I had already been divorced for 7 months, but I always felt like it was the right place for me. Being able to talk about how I felt when dear husband came out to me in a safe place was priceless. I was able to process my feelings and deal with my heartbreak in a healthier way than I had ever imagined. I give credit to you and this group for helping me heal and navigate through the darkest and stormiest waters of my life. I think there is a place for all of us in every phase of this journey in this group. Those still in MOMs can bounce things off of us and vent any time. We might not always have answers, but even if we don’t we can always offer a shoulder to cry on. Also, there are many feelings that can resurface at any time in this process. Things you think you have worked through and dealt with can sometimes come back to haunt you. It is a long, slow, emotional and complicated struggle to work out our new lives. I finally have hope back in my life and I can see a possibility of future happiness. Thank you so much for that.”
“I read everything everyone says because it is part of the building blocks for my journey. I first reached out to the SS community a year ago, and the groups were never exclusive to one specific segment like, ‘before, during, and after’–it all happens. It is necessary, I believe, for us all to hear each others journeys to progress, make decisions, continue to heal, and to eventually move to a more healthy place. When I hear about those of you going through the divorce process, and those who are “post” I feel hopeful, and feel a possibility that I to can do it and survive. If you are in a group with women who are solely in their marriages, it is difficult to see past your current situation. In reverse, once you are past the divorce, and you have a new set of challenges, and new joys, it may sometimes be helpful to be reminded of where you have come from so as to appreciate the immense work and effort it took to get you where you are.
In my situation… it is a battle of truth. I hear all the comments about Ty, and Josh, and any other gay man who chooses to take a different path (to the same inevitable end) and I respect and on some level, envy them. Because at least they have the courage, and the respect for their partners to be honest, face the issue, and deal with it the best way they know how. We all know it may be short lived, or they may choose to take it to their grave, but I respect honesty, in any form. I respect truth, because then their wives can make an informed decision about the choice she is making every day. I don’t even have that choice, and I have a spouse who insists on denial. And that is where all of you come in. People in my situation, isolated, and believing that on some level they are crazy sometimes, rely on your strength and courage, even if it just venting about the injustice of it all. I don’t know when I will be able to make a change in my life as so many are relying on me (aging ill parents, and innocent children), but I know there are people out there, just like me, who understand how I feel. A year ago, I didn’t even know that. I long for a time where this pain doesn’t impact me daily, but I must be careful as my decisions impact those dearest to me as well. I do know that I have become stronger in the past year, and I know who I am, and I know I can survive anything. It just helps me to hear all of you on a daily basis, cope in all your individual ways.”
“I think I agree with everyone here. We all have something in common, and that is what bonds us together, not the fact that some of us are divorced, still married, different faiths, etc. I continue to learn so much from everyone, to share in your joys and triumphs, as well as your pain and heartaches. I also want to be here for someone who is just starting out their journey and be that person who I didn’t have and wished I had back then. All of these different perspectives and experiences are a strength!”